When blogging feels fake
Brandon's post Maybe I Need A Soft Reboot struck a chord with me.
Barely a day goes by without me considering quitting blogging. Frankly, it's a constant struggle.
The fact that it's a struggle doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. Some things, even when met with resistance, can still be beneficial. But I'm not sure that applies to my blogging.
I'm Swedish, and I write in English because I have this notion that it opens up more opportunities and is educational. That's true in itself, but is that really why I do it?
I'm not so sure. Maybe it's all fake.
I'm haunted by a feeling that it's all about attention and that I'm doing everything in my power to hide that reason from myself. That thought leaves a bitter aftertaste, and I'm not comfortable with it. I find it unpleasant.
Somewhere inside, I envision myself sitting alone with pen and paper. Simply writing it all out, unfiltered, without even a thought that someone else will read it.
That's pretty much how this text is written, and I'm not sure if I'll publish it... but I felt the need to write it out of my system.
Update: great follow-up post by Joel.