Go easy on yourself
A homeowner started crying during one of my house inspections today.
Not because I uncovered something she didn’t already know. Not because I delivered any new facts. Not because she was faced with something that couldn’t be fixed.
But because: “I should’ve known better.”
I explained that she’d done everything right when buying the house. The whole process had been according to the ABCs of buying a new home. There was nothing she could’ve done differently to avoid the problem.
She calmed down, but I knew that as soon as I walked out, the self-blame would return.
That’s the thing, we keep accusing ourselves, believing we could have acted differently. But we couldn’t, no matter what the inner critic is trying to tell us.
We act from our state of mind, our mood, the circumstances, and the knowledge we have at hand — there and then.
In hindsight, we see how things “could have” played out, but that’s just a dream, a reconstruction, a utopia of the past.
Go easy on yourself. You’re doing the best you can.